Blog - Page 4 of 4

Giving feedback

19th October 201122nd October 2016Joseph OgbonnaLeave a comment

Blooming Lavender I listened to Graham Keen’s audio cd “95@95” in the car over the weekend and whilst I did not agree with all its contents, it brought together many things I know. Isn’t it great when writers are able to make you wonder “how come I did not realise this myself?” A strong point for me was his conclusion that if you want to make changes in your life, you must look at the messages you give yourself of who you are (your self-concept). Change these messages and your behaviour will begin to change to suit your new messages.

The memorable anecdote from the tape was how John D Rockefeller, preparing to bawl out an executive at Standard Oil who had made a very costly error, first made an exhaustive list of the man’s top qualities and achievements in the company. We are taught to sandwich negative feedback between positive statements. Also to tackle the behaviour, not the person. What I learnt from Rockefeller is how to do this in practice: really look to see what good there is in the person and appreciate her/him. This puts their behaviour and result into perspective.

The thing is to do this, you must already be of the mindset that there is some good there in the first place.

Painting of villagers (Credit: pixabay/ArtsyBee)

Relationships & Issues

14th October 201122nd October 2016Joseph OgbonnaLeave a comment

“We tend to build an allegiance either to relationships or to issues. We become primarily concerned about other people, their feelings, and the relationship, or we become focussed on rules, quotas, agendas, tasks and results”—The Word for today

I immediately liked this view but then considering whether it fits the business environment and the need to deliver results, I questioned it. Can you not deliver results without maintaining relationships with those who would deliver them? Can you deliver good results if you are primarily concerned about the relationships and not those results, afterall that is the primary reason for employing the people (human resource)? Surely the reason for maintaining relationships is for the results. For most people, the knowledge that they are valued for the results they deliver would be enough for them to give their best. I agree that in a learning environment and in a nurturing relationship, the relationship however is the overiding factor. The results are not as urgent and a good relationship would build the individual up to deliver results in the medium term. So, I guess it depends…

Being

13th October 201122nd October 2016Joseph OgbonnaLeave a comment

I mean, just being, rather than the human entity. Mindfulness may be the familiar term used in the mainstream and in Buddhism. This is my take on a concept I find very helpful.

How many of us know how to be? Just be, in the present, not in the past or the future. I find it a challenge with thoughts always whizzing through my mind and with a natural tendency to reflect on events, the past. I am determined to conquer being and I can see some progress. I now recognise many of the times when I am not being in the present. As Karen Sothers says, it takes a lifetime of practice and even then…

My route to this discovery came when I asked for help to improve my presence when I network. She told me a story about a successful networker who just pays attention to anyone she is talking to. It confirmed to me that ‘presence’ is more than being the dominant figure in the environment or the life of the party. Presence comes with being present in the moment, taking full advantage it and responding in real time to the opportunities it provides. Neither dwelling on events or parts of the conversation that preceded the moment nor anticipating the direction of the conversation and seeking an opening to get a word in.

My teacher, Leah said being present is a ‘present’ to be cherished and my coach, Duncan who taught me not to fight distraction but acknowledge its presence but let it go immediately. I am learning to smell the air in a room, sense the muscles in my shoulders or move my toes to remind me of just being. What I have discovered is the peace that comes with being present, listening better, connecting better with people. I am at my best when I am just being.

Man walking into the forest (Credit: pixabay/Herriest)

Seeing round the corner

5th October 201122nd October 2016Joseph OgbonnaLeave a comment

When a rugby ball is lobbed or a football is kicked in a pass, the player does not aim for the current position of the team mate but for their future position, where they would be when the ball gets to them. Early men who were no good at this forward thinking must have been rubbish hunters and farmers.

Many of us drivers respond to the driver directly in front of us. We slow down or stop when we see the brake lights in front of us light up. Advanced driving shows how much easier it is though when our primary attention is on the 2 or 3 cars in front of us. We often slow down or stop at the same time as the car directly in front of us. Our awareness of our surroundings is improved and we are more flexible in our responses, making it easier to flow with the environment. This for me is what strategic thinking is about. Seeing around the corner. What if? What would I do? What is the best that could happen? What is the worst? Am I prepared for both? For some it is natural but some others have to learn it or adopt simple systems to effect it. The result is increased success in being proactive and in responding to circumstances around us.

Fisherman out on a boat (Credit: pixabay/Mhy)

Retirement

16th September 201122nd October 2016Joseph OgbonnaLeave a comment

In 2006–08 males in the UK could expect to live in ‘very good’ or ‘good’ health for 62.5 years at birth and 10.1 years at age 65, and for females 64.3 years at birth and 11.3 years at age 65 (Source: gov.uk). Society expects older people to retire but to the sidelines but in this day, is this wise? I remember hearing a real life story about the damage caused to livelihood and forestry when a group of young male elephants went on the rampage in East Africa. They were part of a larger herd of which had the old bull elephant removed in an attempt to socially engineer new leadership in the herd. Are there lessons in this story for the recent riots or “public disorder” in London?

What is retirement anyway? Is it time for : travel, leisure, free travel, respect, pensions, slowing down, saying what you really feel, paying back, being paid back, worry, less finances, more money, regret, loneliness, hobbies, care services, hospitals, taxis, grand children, wisdom, friends, reunions, reduced mobility, failing senses, celebration of life, freedom?
Collins English says to retire is to give up work, to go into seclusion, to withdraw. A search on the internet brings up mostly financial issues and solutions. Surely, retirement is much more than financial matters. There appears to be limited support for people who wish to prepare for the non-financial aspects of retirement. Why is this so, when most would agree that we become progressively motivated by higher order needs like relationships and self actualisation, as we get older? Mature Times, a free newspaper in London refreshingly provides a balance of content but I wonder how widely read it is and if any read it before they retire.

Surely older people with wisdom and experience are a resource for society. Could a focus on post retirement contribution also provide older people with opportunities and a network of support they choose? After all many people have produced their best literary and artistic works after the age of 60.
To move gracefully into retirement is to know what is important to you, be proactive and flexible in pursuing it with determination.

Time (II)

30th August 201122nd October 2016Joseph OgbonnaLeave a comment

So does my views in the 1st installment on this topic mean that I manage myself perfectly within the time I have and achieve all that I set out to within deadlines, arriving in time for all appointments? Not really. But I certainly feel more in control of myself, my emotions and stress levels. I will share with you an 8-step outline of how I manage my self within time. It is cobbled together from my ideas, spirituality and experience, Mark Forster’s Time management system and Duncan Coppock’s approach in his book, Self Factor

Realising that I am a very small part of an infinite whole, daily, I commend my best intentions and efforts to fit into the larger whole so that they would flow and feel easier.
Take a week-to-week approach to time, viewing, planning and reviewing actions in this light
Identify one main focus for the week
Daily reminder top personal values
List all planned activities on Monday and update as new items arise during the week – work and out-of-work
Beside each activity, indicate its level of importance to me, taking into account, personal values, impact on own intentions, its urgency and workload
Indicate a realistic estimate of the duration for each activity. Keeping a time-log for two weeks is helpful for estimating durations.
Start with the most important activity and on completion, move to the next most important. The importance levels may be dynamic in response to external factors.

Whilst this system may not work for everyone, I find that it simplifies my life promoting a holistic balance because I achieve more easily on a broad spectrum. Try it for 2-weeks to see what you think. I found it to be a powerful tool for managing self within time.

Time (I)

17th August 201122nd October 2016Joseph OgbonnaLeave a comment

Namibian Elephant Phrases like “time has passed us by”; ‘we do no know where the time went”, “the day went quickly” ; “the hour is going slowly”, “just in time” are constant reminders that although we cont time as one of the resources available to us, in the real sense, it is not a resource we can use, apportion, transfer. It is in fact a limitless flow that was there before we arrived, just like the air we breathe and advances regardless of our action or inactions.

If this is so, then the term ‘time management’ is a misnomer and our preoccupation with it in the work place, home, school needs rethinking. If achieving success is most often determined by the direction or focus of efforts, it is important that we do actually re-align our understanding and relationship with time. Do we manage time or do we manage our selves within the time we have?

Namibian Elephant Lazy Trunk Semantics? Let us say I have four weeks to complete a design task, if I managed time, I would apportion the time to suit my speed and style of working and my rest time. I would even consider stopping the time during my idle periods. The reality though is that as I am receiving my brief for the task, time continues to roll, as I catch my breath to understand the task and its requirements, reconsider its impact on my priorities, plan my activities, my 4 weeks is constantly being depleted. No wonder, I am more likely to be stressed out and wondering where the time went.

Namibian Elephant Crossing Legs If however, I am managing myself within the four weeks, in knowledge that the time is not a resource I can control, I am more likely to take responsibility for realizing that my listening or reading the brief, prioritizing are part of my unique approach to the task. I would therefore be making choices about how much thinking, clarification, discussion, delegation I engage in. I would also remain aware of all the other matters in my life which need my attention.

What is the strategy for growing the UK economy to its potential?

7th July 201122nd October 2016Joseph OgbonnaLeave a comment

The UK which is the world’s 6th largest economy, is projected to grow by 1.7% in 2011. Growth in many developing economies will be 7% in 2011. Our expectation is that it will rise to the 2007 levels of 3% in a couple of years, so the economists say. You see, I am no economist and do not know how these predictions are arrived at. However, I do wonder at the assumptions that underly them.

In an economy with comparatively high GDP but which imports more than it exports, slow growth will mean increased national debt as expenditure exceeds income. There is already deep displeasure about the cuts in UK public expenditure, but there is more to come. The logical solution is therefore to increase income earned from exports to achieve the predicted rise in economic growth. But where is this growth going to come from – what sector is positioned to produce the additional income? Will the economy grow from increased recycling of the existing funds or will overseas investors in the property market bring in enough funds to achieve the projected growth? What would need to be happening in the rest of the world for the inflow of such investment to drastically increase? Will it be from high tech manufacturing for which the UK has competitive advantage but which is still on a smaller scale than is needed for a turnaround? The figures published today show that growth in manufacturing over April and May is essentially flat.

If nothing changes, nothing will change. The UK has to identify a sector that has enough potential to compete with other countries in exportable products or services. It has to be based on an existing cabability that could be extended by the government visibly investing in and encouraging training to build capability.

So how exactly can we optimise this potential? Building the basics from primary schools, giving positive messages about the desired careers, encouraging parents to guide children towards these careers, encouraging great numbers of start-up businesses in these industries and giving them real support until they either succeed or fail. I am not an economist but I can consider the future and wonder.

No free lunch

7th July 201122nd October 2016Joseph OgbonnaLeave a comment

We in the UK and elsewhere continue to be reminded of the sense of this wise saying. First it was when we enjoyed cheaper and abundant credit for which we are now paying with stiflled credit lines and low savings rates. The News of the World scandal is another brutal reminder that when we enjoy the inside stories and gossip about other lives, the private information is being obtained at a price. Many would argue, too high a price.

But like the banking crisis, where it was easier to blame the bankers and not our appetite for consumption, we could blame the News of the World and not our desire to consume news about private lives. For a while we could despise “the paparazzi”, until the next big story entices us to buy the papers or we could reflect more deeply and take responsibility for encouraging the prying into private lives. Which one will it be? Any bets?

I do not for one second, excuse the greed that underlay the behaviours exhibited by the bankers or the journalists in both instances. I am just saying that there is evidence of similar greed elsewhere in society and all they are doing is serve us what we demand.